An outstanding book that lays out in an intelligent way those core
principles that lead to true success and happiness. Although the book
is relatively short, it packs in a timeless message that can be
helpful to all who are open to it. Ignore the snobbish tone of the
professional reviewer; the writer simply states his case without a lot
of hype as most writers of the genre do. The book was well worth my
time.
Jiminy Christmas, this is a gosh darn stinking good book!
Reviewer:
Tom Hinkle (see more about me)from Tulsa, OK USA
O'Connor is assuredly no
stick-in-the-mud. There are probably more bad words used in this book than
in 95% of the books out there, but they are there to make a point. When
you read how these words are used, you can see how ridiculous they really
sound. Plus, he gives many ideas for word substitutes, but he goes beyond
that. Differentiating between "casual" and "causal" cursing, he suggests
that it is easier to get rid of casual swearing. As for the causal, he
attempts to attack it at the root, which is often anger and frustration,
and points out that an attitude change is what is needed. If nothing else,
this book makes you more aware of your use of language and how it affects
you at work, at home, and, yes, in traffic. I know a guy who read this
book and his cursing was curbed almost immediately because he was more
aware and alert to it.
Everybody’s doing it, in school rooms, in the workplace and even on TV.
Swearing has become so commonplace that it has lost its original intended
impact. It used to be that curse words were used to illustrate the emotion
“This is as bad as things can get” and were spoken only in extreme and
harsh situations.
Today, many TV programs now utilize the bleep factor to keep language from
offending those still in shock and awe of spicy words.
Dr. Hal Urban, in his book LIFE’S GREATEST LESSONS, admonishes those
engaged in a four letter language; "It's virtually impossible to conceal
who you are. Your words will eventually reveal what's stored both in your
heart and in your mind. While you’re not always aware of it, you say
something about yourself every time you open your mouth."
According to the Guardian Unlimited, a newspaper in France, Swearing at a
policeman, government official or any "person invested with public
authority" could bring a fine of up to €30,000 ($31,635.00) and a two-year
jail sentence, under radical new laws that France's National Assembly
began debating in January 15, 2003. And while that may seem a bit much, it
illustrates how intolerable cussing is viewed even in our modern society.
Embarrassed by the overuse of cuss words, Jim O'Connor founded in Lake
Forest Illinois, the Cuss Control Academy which teaches seminars on how to
stop swearing. "Cussing gives a bad impression and reduces respect people
have for you, it lacks imagination, is immature and reflects ignorance.
Swearing doesn't get you hired, promoted, or romantically connected.” As a
solution he suggests using alternative words for example, to replace the
commonly used “B.S.” he recommends replacing it with choices such as lie,
fabrication, nonsense, exaggeration, bunk, baloney, drivel, malarkey,
hokum, hogwash and balderdash.
James Lipton from Bravo's “Inside the Actor’s Studio” commonly asks movie
star guests their favorite cuss words which usually prove to be cheap,
worn out, everyday expletives. My personal favorite, and one used in my
home growing up is “fiddlesticks” which is difficult to say without
laughing simultaneously – and aids in breaking a bad mood.
Even if everyone you know swears, it helps to eliminate cussing from your
vocabulary because it’s just not appropriate for most situations and it
sets a crummy example for kids.
Other suggestions to improve your language and lifestyle:
1. Recognize that swearing does damage. Even if no one ever mentions your
language is offensive, they could be passing judgment on you without
telling you how they really feel.
2. Start by eliminating casual swearing with replacement words of a more
intellectual or humorous nature such as yikes, crumb cakes, incredible,
careless, fascinating, amazing, indecent, yucky, icky, jeepers, yowser,
unbelievable, inexcusable, maddening, inexplicable, pathetic and humbug.
3. Use inflections for emphasis instead of offensive adjectives. “I DON’T
believe this is happening”, “I am WIGGING out”, “That IS NOT tolerated
here”.
4. Practice being patient. Cussing at aggravations, delays or frustrations
isn’t going to remedy the situation. Try deep breathing instead that will
force oxygen through your blood stream, relaxing you while calming you
down.
5. Be aware that kids swear for the following reasons: To see if they can
generate the same imagined air of authority an adult gets from swearing,
To spark a startled and immediate response from adults around them, to
prove independence, and to gain peer acceptance.
6. Lead by example. You can’t expect your child to respond to anger with a
“whoopsie, gosh or golly” if you paint the house blue with your angry
words. If you catch yourself swearing in front of your child, apologize.
Explain that those words are not allowed in your home and give yourself a
punishment.
7. Invoke consequences. Many families employ a cuss jar to which you must
donate a quarter each time you cuss with the proceeds going to a favorite
charity. Other consequences might include missing a favorite TV program,
or desert at dinner. The family should agree together on a consequence and
then enforce it consistently for all members.
8. Hold each other accountable. If cussing in your house is commonplace,
turn it into a game where you catch each other using clever replacements
instead of shallow cuss words. This will reinforce the changes in your
household language patterns and hold you responsible when you goof.
Focusing on funny words will also encourage the creation of hilarious and
outrageous swear word substitutes that will most likely generate some
laughs while destroying the tense moods that provoked the language in the
first place.
