Impatient and
Frustrated?
by Angela Brown
Channel
surfing the other night I stumbled into Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory
from 1971. Wonka, for those of you, like me, who haven’t seen the film in
twenty years, is a reclusive manufacturer of an elaborate candy factory
that allows no visitors. One day he holds a contest and five children win
the rights to enter the secret place.
One of the children allowed in,
played by Julie Dawn Cole, is a bratty girl named Veruca Salt, who gets
whatever she wants, whenever she wants it or she turns into a screaming
wicked little witch.
“I WANT IT, AND I WANT IT NOW” she screams through a scene of chickens
laying chocolate eggs – she eventually gets her punishment when she jumps
on the disposal to steal a chicken and the scale registers her as a “bad
egg” and dumps her in the garbage.
When it comes to patience, there’s possibly a bit of Veruca in all of us.
We forget that patience is a learned virtue that doesn’t come easy.
Webster defines patience as the ability to bear pains or trials calmly or
without complaint. Most of us have no trouble identifying what it is that
we want in life, yet if you are a child counting the days till Christmas,
a teenager hoping for your first car, or a parent with a mortgage who is
between jobs – the waiting period seems eternal.
In her book One Day My Soul Just Opened Up, Iyanla Vanzant suggests being
open to options while learning patience. “The greatest challenge to the
development of patience is being able to wait for the tangible evidence
that your efforts are paying off. We have a fixed idea of what we want and
what it will look like when it shows up. We hold that idea so firmly that
often we are unable to detect that the very thing we want has actually
arrived.”
If patience is one of your character traits in need of refinement here are
some things to consider:
Be open to other options. What you might receive instead of a full time
job is several part time opportunities or contract projects. Instead of
getting your own car at sixteen, you might have lots of friends who need
your friendship and somebody to talk to and are willing to drive you
around. Instead of waiting as a kid for new toys at Christmas, you may
find joy playing with other children with whom you can share toys.
Patience is letting go of the need to be in control. It is the process
of surrendering yourself to the wait.
Realize that most things of value take time to create. Once you discover
you are pregnant, you have to wait nine months before you can deliver your
child. And when you plant a garden, you have to wait for the seeds to turn
into actual vegetables before harvesting them. Be okay with waiting.
Use impatience as a reminder to exercise your patience. I’ve got a buddy
who becomes agitated with red traffic lights. He’ll get creative and drive
down side streets and make u-turns and cut through parking lots just to
avoid a red light. If red lights trigger your impatience, use that one
minute at the stoplight as a reminder to breathe deeply and get your
attitude back in check. If you’re driving while irritated or in that much
of a rush, your driving judgments are not likely to be wise.
If you are impatient with another person because they are
hyper-sensitive, insecure, whiny, cranky or immature, realize that they
are growing and developing according to their own plan, not yours. Limit
your access to these people when possible and when you do have to be
around them, focus on their positive attributes not the negative ones.
Remember the behaviors you pay attention to are the ones that are most
often repeated.
Don’t pray for patience or you might be given more opportunities to
exercise patience. Instead pray for strength to endure the waiting
period with a good attitude.
You can be happy in spite of not having what you want. Often wanting a
thing so badly and focusing all of your energy on getting it, voids the
possibility of you enjoying what you do have, and what is going on around
you right now. Learn to be happy and content right now, with whatever
equipment or lack of it you have. And if you can’t be happy without the
things you want, at least don’t be a Veruca and make those around you
miserable too.
